Let Me Blow Your Mind
Occasionally - ok, very occasionally - I have moments of genius.
Remember, in Sex and the City, when Trey gives Charlotte the posterboard baby and says “I thought we’d have a giggle”? That moment pops into my brain from time to time, because every time I need to go search my own website for information that I myself generated…
I have myself a giggle. (It’s just kinda fun to have your own bespoke reference library; even if you don’t want to be public about the thing, I recommend it highly.)
Related: The Absolutely Most Disgusting-est Spots In My House
A couple of weeks ago, I bought a pair of patent leather Madewell loafers off of Poshmark (sidenote: you should check out my Poshmark!) for like eight bucks. I was very excited about them until I put them on for a trip to the mall, and subsequently discovered — somewhere around Bath & Body Works — that they are a minimum of half a size too small. (Yes, they seemed tight when I first put them on. I was being stubborn.) (Also yes of course I ended up walking allllll the way back through the mall to the car barefoot. It felt very on-brand.)
Anyway, I was quite sad about the shoe-sizing situation, because despite the fact that they weren’t exactly bank-breakers, they’re kind of perfect, and my boyfriend loves them an inexplicable amount (when I opened the door wearing them, he noticed them instantly and complimented them several times over the next few hours. In my experience, that is a highly unusual man-thing to do, especially in the absence of, I don’t know, stilettos and marabou poufs and such. So either he’s great, or the shoes are great, or both are great. Any of these options: great).
I contemplated re-poshing them. I contemplated bequeathing them to a smaller-footed friend. And then?! I remembered my own wisdom.
Yes, my friends. Yes. I am an actual, certified Internet Authority on how to stretch out your too-tight shoes. As unlikely as it sounds, somehow the oddities of search engine optimization probably due to the fact that in 2011, AOL and Yahoo reposted my article (early-adopter virality! awwww!) have made it so, because check it:
I know. It’s very impressive; try not to panic.
And so, because I had forgotten this technique suggests that even if you are a longtime reader you may have forgotten it, too, here is…
…for posterity (!)…
HOW TO STRETCH YOUR TOO-TIGHT SHOES A HALF (OR FULL) SIZE
Put on a bunch of pairs of socks (I used two thick pairs).
Stuff your feet into your too-small shoes that are now much, much smaller thanks to the socks (this part is no fun, but it’s worth it).
Blast your shoes with hot air from a blowdryer for a couple of minutes while flexing your toes and bending your feet, concentrating on the tightest areas.
Keep the socks and shoes on until the leather cools. Test out the shoes without socks, and repeat if necessary until they’re comfortable. (You may find that the shoes shrink back a bit after a few hours; just keep repeating the process until you reach a size that suits you.)
In the past, I’ve found that this technique stretches shoes a half size, but with a lightweight. stretchable material (like a ballet flat) it can stretch them an entire size. Remember, though, that they’ll shrink back partway after they cool down completely, so you might need to repeat the process once or twice.